Product Description
As beautiful blonde melanie daniels rolls into bodega bay in pursuit of eligible bachelor mitch brenner she is inexplicably attacked by a seagull. Suddenly thousands of birds are flocking into town preying on schoolchildren and residents in a terrifying series of attacks. Contains many bonus features. Studio: Uni Dist Corp. (mca) Release Date: 09/02/2003 Starring: Tippi Hedren Rod Taylor Run time: 120 minutes Rating: Pg13 Director: Alfred HitchcockAmazon.co… More >>
First off, let me give the nerds the afternoon off and pre-spam my review with insensately hostile personal attacks because I have the audacity to have an opinion which differs from those of the herd.
And now on to the review.
The movie is shockingly bad. It starts off with Tippi Hedren being filmed through vaseline every time the camera lovingly ogles her starry-eyed face. She is a spoiled Paris Hilton type who pretends to work in a pet shop so as to get some face time with a total hosehead who goes in there to buy some birds. This hosehead is supposed to be something to yell for, but instead he has about as much charm as a guy in a hemorrhoid commercial. Tippi then decided to chase this hosebag all the way to a small town, find out about where he lives, rent a boat, slowly make her way across the bay… The screenwriter should have been taken out and shot for being criminally boring. The movie has an interminable and completely unnecessary and uninteresting “human interest” premise which involves Tippi basically stalking hemorrhoid man. The two are destined to be destined for each other. But you, the viewer are simply destined to waste two hours of your life watching this claptrap. Moviegoers must collectively insist on not being bored to death. Movies are supposed to be MORE interesting than real life. That’s why they are called “entertainment”.
Okay, I owe the movie the sincerest apology. It’s like I’ve just suspected: the film is a masterpiece. It’s a message picture. The message is, “People are garbage; the birds can’t take it anymore. The birds must kill.” It’s just like David Lynch’s The Angriest Dog in the World, only its The Angriest Birds in the Town. I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!
Ok, to recap… the movie takes far too long to get going. And NONE of the characters are even faintly likeable. But once the birds really take a special dislikin’… all hell breaks loose. The scene in which the gas station explodes I dug special. Pure chaos. If I could change my rating I’d now give the movie four stars, subtracting one star for how mind-bendingly boring the first half of the movie is. But the film is basically Peyton Place with birds attacking. Plus the leading “man” has got some kind of Psycho situation going with that battleaxe of a mother of his. He’s a real mamma’s boy. Calls his mother “Dear.” So the birds can’t take it any more and they let loose on the town. And rightly so. The movie ends with the crummy people, now throroughly humbled, quietly mincing off while the birds, who’ve taken over, are basically saying, “Yeah, that’s right: take a walk, buster!”
The movie is an early prototype of Jurassic Park, which was obviously based directly on The Birds, though nobody seems to have noticed this. In Jurassic Park there are even repeated references to how the dinosaurs are the ancestors of… you got it: birds. The movie dramatizes some primal expectation that the earth will surge primitive and humans will be bundled off like refugees, like the rabble they secretly know themselves to be. Fan-freaking-tastic!!
Rating: 1 / 5
I haven’t seen the dvd version but I rented the vhs a while back and thought it was a real bore of a movie. Like a 2 hour soap opera with a semi gruesome last half hour. Nothing happens for the first 3 quarters or so of the movie but boreing dialog. It seemed so much better when I was a kid when a little went a long way.
Rating: 1 / 5
In fact, the only hitch film worse than it is To Catch A Thief. The so-called Master of Suspense masters mostly boredom and dullness throughout the movie. If you can get past the first 50 minutes, though, you’ll be okay. The definate highlight of the film was when a man drops a match on a trail of gas. It blows up, and you are shown four stills of Tippi Hendren’s terrified face. It was supposed to be serious, but it was hilarious. My brother and I watched it over and over again; it cracked us up.
Eventually, the film has SOME good parts with the attacking birds; but those scenes could sometimes be disappointing. Really, I do not recommend seeing it.
Rating: 2 / 5
The Birds is a good movie. I like the part at the end when the birds are attacking Tippi Hedren. It was one of the best Alfred Hithcock movies ever made.
I watched this movie about 3 years ago and it literally scared me away from birds. I was so freaked out, I couldn’t go near any birds for weeks.
The only complaint I have (and it may seem minor to some of you) but I think it looks a little out-dated. I mean, come on, who wears their hair in the same style as Tippi Hedren now a days?
All in all, a good movie.
Rating: 3 / 5
I just saw the movie “The Birds” a couple weeks ago and it scared me so bad! Ive read part of the novel but the movie was far more scarier! I had to read the book and watch the movie for school (I am a freshman in high school)and do an essay on it. But it was ok. I could have seen better acting cause Melanie acted to perfect and personally I thought she was a terrible actress!
Rating: 1 / 5